tomorrow

well I feel much better now that i spent a couple nights getting so drunk that I thought I was a completely different person with a much better life.

most people say that getting drunk is no way to solve one's problems. they clearly have never been raped.

It was healthy for me. In my attempt to drown out reality and purge all emotion I came to a very important realization. Something I almost let myself forget because I was so focused on what was going on at the time and what I was feeling.

Today: Life sucks.. but tomorrow... well, tomorrow life will still probably suck, but it could be much better!!

There's always tomorrow. Tomorrow will feel different. It is a brand new day with nothing but possibilities. I can start over every tomorrow. I spent the past couple last nights just thinking about everything. That's always dangerous, my thoughts always get me in trouble because they always go to dark places. I tend to fall into this hole full of hopelessness and I really do believe in the moment that everything is so pointless, I completely forget about tomorrow.

Change requires action and time. I'm so impatient, I look back at the few years i've lived and think what a waste of time..

But I don't think time is ever really wasted. All those insigificant things in my life, when I think about it long enough, sort of had to happen. They were small pieces of life that made me who I am today. Who cares if most of them were terrible? The result is good, I do like who I am becoming.

In order to have change, action must be taken. It's my goal to try and remember it. Less crying, more trying. And even if its a bad day, even if things get chaotic again.
There's always tomorrow.